The School Zone Bylaw

The school zone’s a place for bearing in mind that children are always about,
The slower the better is always the best, especially if there’s any doubt.
Of course you can drive like an idiot; a moron or dimwit or clown.
But don’t be surprised if you end up in jail for running some schoolchildren down.

Here is the how-do-you-do-it, for school zone rule driving remembering.
You have to proceed with care and restraint, no passing if you are dissembling.
The school zone’s speed is half sixty, the norm. Nearly nineteen if you prefer miles.
Anymore and the Mounties will have you, despite your vehement denials.

But wait! That low limit ain’t always, it’s half seven till just half past four.
And only when school is in session, so summer don’t count, that’s for sure.
(Oops, I meant doesn’t, not don’t – schools can still make me nervious).
I used to think I was all over that, but it seems I’m not yet impervious.

But back to the topic at hand, drive at thirty kilometres per hour,
Except Saturdays, Sundays and Holidays, plus alternative days that our
schools are not ever open, like Summer and sometimes on Fridays,
and Christmas and Spring Break and other time off – as my eyes are starting to glaze!

Yet despite how confusing it is, knowing when to calm down and go slower,
There’s an easier way to bear it in mind. And it’s something I’ll tell you right now… er?
“Weekends, Christmas, times off and vacations, Fridays mostly, days holi- and snow-.
Oh boy, it’s too hard to remember: if you drive past a school, just go slow”.

by Kevin Thornton